Guilty Pleasures

The other day my 6 year old told me that I was too busy...that I clean the house too much and seem so busy all the time. Talk about a punch in the gut! She's telling the truth...I am constantly in "go mode" feeling that if I am not, then I am not doing my job. Wonder where that lie came from!? I can give you a few guesses;). Satan lies to me every day...I think we assume Satan only does the BIG stuff but even whispers of self doubt and misguided self worth is a very common strategy of his! Satan doesnt want me to not clean my counters off and sit down and play with my kids...he doesnt want me to put the vacuum down to paint a picture with my daughter...he wants me to be busy because family is a huge threat to him!

Ever since the day I first became a mother I go to bed with a load of guilt. It's something I fight every night. Did they get enough hugs today, was I sweet to my husband today, did the kids have too much sugar today, did they brush their teeth (oh gosh what if they have cavities and then the dentist think Im a horrible mom....) etc etc etc...it's a constant battle of self doubt. With Haley's blow that day though...I didn't even sleep that night...that was a heavy loader and I was feeling really yucky about myself that night! I just prayed for my role as a mother that night and prayed for my little ones...that I can give them the individual attention they each need and that I am capable of better time management.

With that said, I have tried to make a vital change in my day to day routine and it started with a trip to the zoo:)...left the house a mess, packed up the car and headed on for an adventure that I was not just going to observe from behind the stroller but that I would partake in with my kiddos! I used to be so good about being such a hands on mom...it was something I probably prided myself in...but having McKamy changed me in a way and it really didnt have to...it was by my own doing...guilty...g u i l t y! It's okay though...today's a new day and I am grateful for yet another opportunity to do it better than the day before...